We’re going to fail, hurt, and get looked at sideways.
That’s OK. We all mess up from time-to-time and there’s nothing to do but accept it.
Accept it and get better through it. There’s no other option.
The falls are the best teachers. The tough times … the greatest sifters.
When we’ve hit a rock bottom of sorts or when we’ve gone for something that we really wanted, laid it on the line, and had the chips fall against us, it’s tough.
There’s no getting around that.
Nobody really wants to go for something and fall flat on their face.
But it happens all the time to really good people, that really did put in the effort.
Life’s not always fair, but it is life. And life can have a life of its own.
What does it even mean to “fail better?
Good question. Let’s explore.
It does not mean:
- doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result,
- jumping head first without looking,
- blindly following passion,
- getting angry at outcomes,
- expecting people we barely know to act as we want them to,
- expecting the world to give us a hand up, or
- doing what we’re told and never stopping to look at the big picture.
It does mean:
- trying new means of reaching our desired outcome,
- jumping after first looking where we’re jumping,
- following passion after making sure this passion intersects with opportunity (market value, the world’s needs, etc.),
- taking ownership and looking at ourselves first when things don’t go as planned,
- accepting others and accepting that the world can be a cruel bitch at times (we’re a part of nature after all and nature doesn’t care about ‘our feelings’),
- stopping regularly to check the path that we’re on and ensure it’s the one we want to be on.
There’s a difference between the two.
Where one takes a blind, wishful-thinking approach to life and expects others and the world itself to give them things and care about their feelings, the other brings us to a different place.
It leans on acceptance, ownership, depth of thought, detachment, adaptation, etc, etc.
Self reliance → better failings.
It’s not even ‘failure’ as most people see it. It’s win or learn. It’s a process. And when we’re embedded in this process with a heartier perspective on life and our place in it, we’ll find that our “failings” lead us somewhere.
They help us answer questions like:
- Who are we and who are we becoming?
- Who do we love and who loves us?
- What does v. doesn’t serve us well in our lives?
You see, when we stop expecting these answers to be given to us or pop into our heads, we get our power back. The power to create ourselves and answer these questions for ourselves.
The power to take responsibility and the power to act.
The only risk of failure is promotion. — Scott Adams
If we listen to the voices of the many, we end up like the many.
If we just go with the ebb and flow of what people around us are saying, we don’t end up becoming our selves.
When the noise is turned down, that’s a good thing. It provides us the opportunity to look inward. To look at what we’re made of. To look at the path that we’re on. To take stock of who we are and who we’re becoming.
Because life will have its down spots, that’s inevitable. Like we said earlier, sometimes life has a life of its own. It’s not about if shit happens, rather what we do with it. How we move forward.
- Are we willing to take the steps even when we’re scared?
- Are we willing to trade a short term “L” for a long term “W”?
An investment in the long term, in our selves, may be exactly what the moment calls for.
Looking for the opportunity in the rough and then going for it.
Now, in these times of timidity, is an opportunity to do exactly that.
To fail forward.
